Be Nourished

The Fat Trap

By Hilary Kinavey, MS, LPC

An important article was published in the New York Times magazine on 12/8/11. In her article titled  “The Fat Trap”, Tara Parker-Pope asks if we have to be “superhuman to lose weight.” I urge you to take some time to read it, but then come back here. There is more to the story.

You see, I think the common response when we hear or read about the true metabolic realities of weight loss, is to feel pretty let down. You might feel worried about being stuck in your uncomfortable “fat” feeling forever. You might even be entertaining thoughts of self-blame about the size of your body. Or feeling more body shame, wishing so much that you could find a plan that would really work this time so you don’t have to feel these things again.

The good news is that you are not stuck just because dieting doesn’t actually work. It is so very important to remember that you manage to stay skeptical of most marketing ventures that are directed your way (of which there are many!) The dieting and weight loss industries, in all their various forms, make up a $60 billion dollar industry that is highly dependent on repeat customers. They know it doesn’t work either. They blame you, shame you and tell you that you aren’t trying hard enough instead. This tactic tends to trump our efforts at remaining skeptical of them. Doesn’t that make you angry? Allow yourself a moment of that. The fact that dieting does not work for your physical bodies is not new news. Linda Bacon Ph.D, the author of Health at Every Size, has researched weight loss extensively and has reported similar findings.

This is the time of year when the desire to make changes in the name of weight loss is the loudest and the marketing is the heaviest. It is incredibly easy to find yourself lost in the dominant thought process about weight loss. This thought process is something like “weight loss is important for health”, “the changes I make to my health behaviors must result in weight loss to be productive”, “ I have to change who I am from the outside in to be better” or simply, “Thin = health.”

This is where we find that traditional weight loss is not sustainable psychologically as well. We do not change from the outside in, but from the inside out. It’s tough to make big changes when we are afraid we are not good enough, even though we desperately might want to. These efforts also do not tend to be sustainable. We can
not shame ourselves into change. It doesn’t work. If it did, it would have already happened.

Carl Rogers reminds us, ““The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” It is inevitably true. If traditional weight loss doesn’t work, then we are left to deal with what is really happening in us, the real stuff that Brene Brown says “gets in the way.” We frequently know when making food choices what works for us and what doesn’t, but that isn’t what we rely on in that moment of choice. Other psychological factors come into play. We also know that a lifetime (no matter how long) of body dissatisfaction and dieting really skews our beliefs about food and self-care. We almost have to de-program that “dieting mind” to reconnect to our bodies again. It’s true…and it’s possible.

Hope is not lost. There’s a whole world out there that can support you in real and sustainable health practices. Our resources page can introduce to some of our favorites. And let us know about what you find on your journey.

So tell us, what did you think about “The Fat Trap” article?

"Freedom's just another word"

Janice Joplin immortalized the line "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose". How does that apply when we're talking about being thin? Dr. Deah Schwartz discusses freedom and being thin in America.

http://www.leftoverstogo.com/2011/08/17/what-would-janice-do/

Susie Orbach's "Bodies"

A review of an important book about the state of our bodies as a culture...

http://newbooksinpsychoanalysis.com/2011/08/15/susie-orbach-bodies-picador-2009/

The Real Problem with Body Acceptance

By Hilary Kinavey, MA, LPC

Last week Jess Weiner, a well-known speaker in the arena of body acceptance and self esteem wrote an article and had a Today show appearance to discuss how health and body acceptance collided in her life.  Her article has sparked debate in the Health at Every Size® community, and you can read some of the responses here, here, here and here.

Weiner, in her TODAY show interview, said she has identified a struggle in the body acceptance movement.  She and many of the women she talks to could embrace body acceptance but are not doing anything for their health.  This comment is so connected to the very life force and essence of my work in the Health at Every Size movement that I feel compelled to respond.

It is easy to assert that body acceptance is essentially health promoting.  This wonderful, logical idea is what captivated me 15 years ago and called me to this field.  It is known that when we experience love and self-acceptance, we are more equipped to act in our own best interest.  This truth is so far-reaching in its effect on our lives that we can find places of calm and peace that transcend the old disordered and deprived thoughts about ourselves; the one’s formerly rooted in worthlessness and isolation.

When I hear a woman say words similar to Weiner’s, I am most ignited and passionate about this body acceptance and Health at Every Size® movement.  I want to stand on my chair and yell (a kind and warm yell, if that is possible) “No, no, don’t abandon ship here.  Keep going!  There is more!  Don’t run from yourself now!  This is where the body-acceptance stuff gets really good!”

Loving our bodies does not mean living in opposition to our health.  Accepting and loving yourself into better health (or perhaps despite your health) is a simple and beautiful option that has spawned the “new peace movement” and has become a foundational tenet of Health at Every Size®.    Every body is a good body.

Embracing this tenet is much more challenging for those who've had an eating disorder, suffered from body hatred or live in a larger body.  Our bodies, especially after years of trying to change them, can become difficult to learn to love, trust, and care for because they are often identified as the source of all pain.  We question whether our bodies are betraying us.  Standing with our bodies and claiming them as a part of ourselves is difficult.  This is especially true when we are used to abandoning them when facing the challenges that come with inhabiting a body, such as health concerns.

So, it seems that there is an elephant in the room here.  At this time, in this culture, there is a space that exists between loving our body and acting on behalf of our health.   For many of my clients, myself, and I guess much of our culture, it can be hard to find the self-love and acceptance we need in that gray space.  The space is cob-webby, full of the old rhetoric and words, the language of fear.  The space is one where we hand over the expertise of our bodies to others, and we hope that we find a better, more improved version of ourselves on the other side (remember, this has never really worked before). 

Healing from this body-directed hatred and moving towards health is quite a process, certainly far more layered and involved than making a simple decision to join a movement.  So, when a person that represents medical authority gives you medical news that concerns you, it can feel like the best thing to do is abandon the “self-love” ship and go back to relying on the dieting mind to tell you what to do again.  There aren’t any new answers in returning to the old diet-y path, but it sure can be clearer than a non-diet,  approach Health at Every Size® approach to food, weight and health.  They definitely do not garner the “atta-girl” kudos that can make us feel better under these circumstances.

Feeling ambivalent about Health at Every Size® is part of the process.   This ambivalence helps us learn our own truths about our bodies, our minds and our hearts.  HAES™ and body acceptance are truly helpful and life changing and can be ripe with complexities.  There are no easy answers here, ask anyone that is putting this to work in their lives. The path to self-acceptance and self-love is a long and winding road, one so worth trekking.   One of the biggest challenges is the courage it takes to keep going.