Be Nourished

A Year of Being Nourished

By Amaya Villazan

Last week, I attended a wellness fair at a local university in which I hosted a table introducing people to Be Nourished along side co-founder and dietitian, Dana Sturtevant, MS, RD. I was tentative at first, nervous I wasn’t going to be able to properly explain and give insight into the tenets of Health At Every Size and Intuitive Eating. However, as I started talking to people, I was astounded by how much I had absorbed after only a year of working at Be Nourished. More importantly, I was completely inspired by the deep seated hunger in the community for an approach that fully embraces every human shape in all its perfection and the growing desire to let go of destructive dieting and embody a more positive and sustainable path toward health and weight neutral self-care.

I spoke with one young woman who came by our table after having visited a table hosted by a certain dieting program. She had just spoken with someone there about her body mass index and how their plan could offer her a way to reach her ideal size and stay that way. She shared with me that she had spent years of yo-yo dieting without the results she so desperately strived for. When I started explaining the concept of Intuitive Eating and that health does not need to equate a number on the scale, her eyes lit up.  It was though she had been waiting to hear those words her whole life and had no idea it was even a possibility.  It was a beautiful moment to witness.

Over time, I’ve witnessed countless friends, myself included, struggle with an ingrained ideal of beauty; constant comparing, constant vigilance over food, constant feelings of inadequacy hidden behind a false image of confidence.  I talked about mindful living and acceptance but would then go home and stare at myself in the mirror wishing my body was different, that this was less, that that was more. But now a shift has happened. My eyes have been opened. A year ago I was looking for a job to help pay my rent and support my habit as an actor and singer. Instead, I was given the keys to a radical path toward self-love and sustainable health.  My body and I are very grateful.

Amaya Villazan is the office coordinator at Be Nourished. When she's not organizing events and assisting in spreading the message of HAES and  Intuitive Eating, she is performing as an actor and singer/songwriter in the Portland area. To hear about her upcoming performances and to listen to her music, please visit www.amayavillazan.com.

The Size of Your Doctor?

By Hilary Kinavey, MS, LPC

Did you see this little article in the New York Times magazine on 3/18/12?

"How Fat Is Your Doctor" By Hope Reeves

"In addition to the hassles and indignities they face on a daily basis, it turns out that overweight people also may not make very good doctors — at least when it comes to treating overweight patients. Researchers at Johns Hopkins University surveyed 500 primary-care physicians and found that doctors who battled the bulge themselves (those with a body-mass index of 25 or above) were less likely to recognize fatness or offer their patients diet tips. Basically,says the researcher Sara Bleich, “your doctor is unlikely to diagnose obesity or have weight-loss discussions with you if they weigh more than you.” Thin doctors, typically, seem to be just freaking perfect."

This weight-biased data suggests that the discussions regarding weight in doctors offices across this country are actually helpful at producing change.  It also suggests that the discussions between doctors in larger bodies and their patients are not happening and those patients are somehow missing out on some important information.

Hmmmm? 

It has been my experience that many of my “overweight” clients are actually having second thoughts or actively avoiding medical care to steer clear of the recognition of fatness that is referred to in this article. Some work diligently to find medical practitioners who are willing to entertain discussions with patients of all sizes that involve sustainable and weight-neutral self-care.  Most don’t know where to turn, but certainly would like to avoid the sometimes shaming and often unproductive recommendations regarding weight loss. 

In fact, the research on weight bias through the Yale Rudd Center is showing that the most reported incidence of weight bias that people experience is coming from healthcare practitioners and family members.  Weight bias research shows the more bias someone experiences, the more times they will try to cope with that bias through overeating, dieting and other shame inducing methods that do not support sustainable health behaviors. (Puhl and Brownell, 2006/2007)

We also know, from research on Intuitive Eating, that women who can approach their bodies with some acceptance are more likely to eat healthy (Tylka, 2006).  Making assumptions about a person based on their weight, even in a clinical setting, has not necessarily encouraged sustainable health behavior change, and has often done the opposite, producing more shame and potential alienation. 

This article, in it’s own tongue in cheek way, suggests that finding a medical professional who mirrors your experience may be the way to go to avoid stigma. I also believe that sharing your needs and expectations with your medical professionals is one of the most important ways you can participate in your own care.

Linda Bacon, in Health at Every Size offers a letter that patients can offer to their health care providers that discusses a sensitive care approach for people of all sizes.

If you have or know of a provider that you have received compassionate or weight-neutral care from, we’d love to know. We are compiling a referral list! Email amaya@benourished.org with the name and contact information.

Mindfulness and Mothering

By Anne Meneakis, LCSW

Wouldn’t it be marvelously healthy and wonderful to have monthly national “unplug” days, where our phones are shut down, email and all electronic devices are turned off, and our maternal “to do” lists transform into a mother’s single-item, “to be” list? And the hugely important question, “How do I want to be with my children?” would be given its due honoring, time and space.

If fans of Shakespeare would pardon me, how “to be,” really does seem to capture the crucial question of those of us parenting in this decade. How to be with our children as we work so hard to nurture and raise them as we truly wish to; how to be with our children when moments of normal parenting stress or challenges arise and our humanness gets in the way of being the kind of parents we long to be; how to be with our children as we juggle vast and distracting schedule demands in an over paced culture; how to be with our children, so that they may learn to be with others – empathetic and kind. These to be moments, moments of be-ing, are all moments with the potential for mindfulness, for mothering mindfully.

“Mindfulness is at the heart of nurturing relationships. When we are mindful, we live in the present moment and are aware of our own thoughts and feelings and also are open to those of our children.” – In “Parenting from the Inside Out,” by attachment expert and child psychiatrist, Daniel L. Siegel, M.D. and Mary Hartzell, M.Ed.1

Even if we don’t get a day of unplugged time, one of the wonderful things about the practice of mindfulness is that it can be practiced for as little as 5-10 minutes a day with a resulting shift in our interactions with our children and loved ones, a shift towards greater awareness of what is happening inside ourselves, and inside our children’s minds and hearts. Our interactions with our children then have a more abundant loving intentionality of how we wish to be with them. Mindfulness can be practiced in sitting meditation, or while walking, brushing our teeth, or chopping broccoli.

There are so many of those “I wish moments” in parenting. “Oh, I wish I had kept calmer and more patient when trying to get my son to school on time;” “I wish I had been less distracted when my daughter wanted to play with me,” or “I wish I had reserved that afternoon for just my children and myself.” Even in our better parenting moments, mis-attunement is a natural phenomenon. As we integrate mindfulness into our daily lives, such “I-wish” moments happen less often. We are more able to set limits on schedules that take away from relationship-building with our children. Our awareness and attunement increase, and our relationship with our children deepens.

“When we are being fully present as parents, when we are mindful, it enables our children to fully experience themselves in the moment….“It is within our children’s emotional connections with us that they develop a deeper sense of themselves and a capacity for relating.” Daniel L. Siegel, M.D. and Mary Hartzell, M.Ed.2

What about the moments where we are more than mildly mis-attuned with our children? When parenthood presents moments of more difficult challenge from our own stress, or when a child’s behavior presses buttons we didn’t know we had, parenting strategies or child development theories alone are not helpful.

“When tired, hungry, frustrated, disappointed, or angered, we can lose the ability to be reflective and become limited in our capacity to choose our behaviors. We may be swept up in our own emotions and lose perspective. At these times, we can no longer think clearly and are at high risk of overreacting… It is so important that we try to be aware of our own emotional processes and respect their central role in both our internal and interpersonal lives…When we are [mindful and thus] flexible, we have a choice about what behaviors to enact and what parental approach and values to support.” –(Siegel & Hartzell)3

The practice of mindfulness can be so very helpful in these moments. It helps decrease our moments of unregulated unmindful speaking to our children, and helps us stop and pause and re-direct ourselves more quickly when such human, unskillful moments arise. When we are able to stay present in the moment, we create a neurological capacity in the brain, a flexibility of mind to pause, and become aware of our emotions and internal experiences and states. We become more aware of and able to consider the emotions and internal experiences of others, of our children. We can then thoughtfully and intentionally follow through on the strategies or parent-child interactions which belong not to reactive irritability or distracted absence of mind, but to our values of how we wish to mother our children - our best of mother intentions which arise in our calmer, wiser, reflective moments.

Mindful and loving parent-child interactions that teach and nourish our children, and raise them to be resilient, thriving adults, can be a part of parenting for any of us, even if our memories of our own childhood were not particularly happy ones. The neuroscience research outlined in Dr. Susan Smalley’sbook, “Fully Present”4,5 and Dr. Siegel’s “Parenting from the Inside Out,” demonstrates the brain’s ability to grow new neuronal pathways, which make possible a new capacity to reduce old stress responses and increase our resiliency in stressful moments. We are thus able to create new, mindful, attuned ways of responding to our children in times of stress, or difficult emotions.

In practicing the non-judgmental noting of what arises within us, and responding with acceptance, mindfulness enables us to cultivate a more compassionate understanding with ourselves. As we become more mindful and compassionate with ourselves, we not only create a deeper, more meaningful life for ourselves, we role-model such awareness and self-compassion for our children. As our children receive non-judgmental compassion from us, our children can learn to create that compassion in their relationship with themselves and with others.

“It is within our children’s emotional connections with us that they develop a deeper sense of themselves and a capacity for relating….”(Siegel and Hartzell)6

So the gift of this parenting art of mindfulness, with its practice of compassion and awareness, becomes for us a gift of a deeper understanding of ourselves and a deeper relationship with our children. And that gift of deeper, richer connection between our selves and our children becomes the gift of a step towards a more mindful, more connected world.

About the author: Anne Meneakis, LCSW is a counselor in private practice in SE Portland. She will be offering a Mindful Mothering Workshop at Be Nourished, on Sunday, April 15th from 10 a.m.to 2 p.m. This workshop will include a blend of mindfulness meditation instruction, as well as journal writing and affirming, supportive group discussions - all on mothering mindfully. We will unplug, create and share our “to be” list. No prior meditation experience is required. The workshop is equally fitting for new moms as well as moms with older children.

Anne has worked in the mental health/counseling field for over 24 years. She provides couplescounseling, parent coaching and individual counseling with an emphasis on women’s relationship,parenting and emotional wellness concerns. You can reach Anne at 503-349-6152. For more information about Anne you may also click here.

1,2,3,6) Footnotes: Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding can help you Raise Children Who Thrive: Siegel, Dani M.D. and Hartzell, Mary, M.Ed., Tarcher/Penguin (2003)
4,)Footnotes: Fully Present The Science Art and Practice of Mindfulness: Smalley, Susan L , Ph.D and Winston Diana, De Capo Press (2010
5) Footnotes: Fully Present The Science Art and Practice of Mindfulness: Smalley, Susan L , Ph.D and Winston Diana, De Capo Press (2010JM Greeson, “Mindfulness Research Update:2008.” Completmentary Health Practice Review (2009):10-18; A. Chiesa and A Serretti,:Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction for Stress Management in Health People: A review and Meta-Analysis, “Journal of Alternative andComplementary Medicine (2009)593-600; P.Grossman,L. Niewman, S. Schmidt and H. Walach, “Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction andHealth Benefits. A Meta-Analysis,” Journal of Psychosomatic Research (2004): 35-43.

How light is too light?

A few weeks ago I went to heat up an Amy’s frozen meal for lunch – roasted polenta with swiss chard.  “Yum,” I thought.  Then I realized when I opened the box that this was an “Amy’s light & lean” frozen meal, which translated to 140 calories with 4 grams of fat.   “Yikes,” I thought, “I’m going to be hungry in an hour!”

I love Amy’s frozen meals for the occasional day when I don’t have anything else to take for lunch.  They taste good and when you look at the ingredient list, you don’t have to get out a chemical dictionary to understand what it is that you are eating. This one had sweet yellow cornmeal polenta topped with an organic summer stew of squash, sun-ripened tomatoes, mushrooms and a side of fragrant slow-cooked chard. (Take a look at the ingredient list of a Lean Cuisine or Weight Watchers frozen meal – you might be surprised.)  When you open the box and look at the food, it looks like something that I would have cooked and put in the freezer for a quick meal.

Now, I bought this meal because it sounded good, not because it was ‘light and lean.’  After discovering the nutrition facts, I wondered how many people would eat just this for lunch or dinner and think they are being ‘so good.’  Paired with a lean protein, this could be a very satisfying meal.  But on it’s own, it is not enough to eat.

When I got home, I looked at the “Southern Dinner” that I usually get – cornbread and beans with greens and sweet potatoes to see how this meal compared to the ‘light and lean’ one.  This meal has 310 calories and 7 grams of fat.  What’s wrong with this?  Why isn’t this one considered ‘light and lean?’

The mentality of many people in this culture is the lower or lighter the food is, the better.  My clients who severely restrict their eating because they are dieting or have an eating disorder eat ‘light’ like this all day long.  And they complain of being hungry all the time.  They also report craving carbohydrates like pretzels, bread or muffins.  And if they tend to ignore cues to eat and live with extreme hunger, they crave simpler carbohydrates like jellybeans and candy corn.  Sound familiar?

“Becoming familiar with your physiological hunger and working with vs. against it is helpful in avoiding overeating and/or feeling out of control” says Amy Tuttle of Nourishing Connections.   At Be Nourished, we work with clients to improving their meal mix by eating a combination of protein, fat and carbohydrate and they discover they are not hungry ALL the time.

Eating foods, meals, or snacks that provide us with a combination of carbohydrate, protein and fat helps keep our energy level up and our mood more manageable.  And it enables us think more clearly because our body and brain are receiving better fuel and we are not distracted by hunger. 

So the next time you are thinking about what to eat, consider composing your meals and snacks differently.  We’d love to hear what you discover along the way!

 

Perimenopause and Menopause, Midlife Metamorphosis

By Susan Buhler, MSOM, LAc

What is Perimenopause and Menopause?

Chinese medicine sees perimenopause and menopause as a normal and important transition, which can be assisted to proceed smoothly, quickly, and without discomfort. It is important to understand that it is a naturally occurring transition and is not a disease! According to Chinese medical theory, it is a transition that allows a woman to live in good health once past the reproductive years, and is the body’s wisdom of energy conservation.

Perimenopause is defined as the transitional time period in a women’s life prior to the cessation of menses. Perimenopause is often characterized by increasingly irregular periods, increased or decreased menstrual flow, emotional fluctuations, sleep disturbances, heart palpitations, digestive upset, fatigue, depression, anxiety, headaches, hot flashes, night sweats, and often an increase in any PMS symptoms that previously existed. On average, perimenopause lasts for 3-12 months as the ovaries decline in their reproductive functioning. There is no clear definition or time frame of perimenopause, as its duration and symptomology are very different from woman to woman -- influenced by genetics, lifestyle, general health and life stresses.

Menopause is the permanent cessation of menses and fertility and is defined as occurring 12 months after the last menstrual period. The average age of menopause is around 47 years old, but can occur earlier or later. Symptoms may include the above signs and symptoms, with some improving and some symptoms seemingly becoming more intense. Hotflashes, nightsweats, heart palpitations, changes in libido and emotional fragility are common symptoms for women as they enter into the menopausal/post- menstrual years -- as their bodies adjust to a new energetic balance.

Though there are common symptoms associated with perimenopause and menopause, from a Chinese medicine perspective, these symptoms are viewed as energetic imbalances in the body that need re- balancing. It is notable that these symptoms and many more are easily treatable by Chinese medicine.

Chinese medicine treats each woman individually, taking into account the whole pattern of each patient's physical and mental-emotional symptoms. Treatment may include either one or a combination of herbal medicine, acupuncture, and/or specific exercises or lifestyle recommendations. Stress levels, lifestyle, and general health are important factors involved in response time.

Gynecology is an area in which Chinese medicine truly shines. Its treatment is humane, without side effects, and can safely and effectively treat a wide variety of disorders. Chinese medicine may be used instead of or in conjunction with Western medicine for the successful treatment of perimenopausal and menopausal discomforts. There are many advantages to the use of Chinese medicine during this time of transition as well as for a variety of other women's health concerns. 

Please join me Wednesday, February 29th at Be Nourished from 6 to 7 p.m. for a free discussion:

Part 1:
Perimenopause & Menopause, Midlife Metamorphosis
Navigating the Transition to a New Beginning 

Step into your path...

Susan Buhler, MSOM, LAc has been involved in holistic healthcare for over 18 years and is a practitioner of Chinese medicine at Be Nourished. She incorporates acupuncture and herbal medicine, and has a specialized focus in women’s health care. She can be reached at 971-216-9913. More information can be found here.